| EXPENSIVE |
[07 Jul 2003|02:35am] |
|
I've come to the conclusion that losing weight is expensive. You'd think that salad would be less money than say a hamburger or french fries but its not. You can have 4 hamburgers for the price of one salad. At most resteraunts its the same thing. Unless you want to order a side salad.. then thats a different story. Also if you want to do the atkins diet, meat and non-carb stuff is expensive. Then joining the gym is another 30 dollars a month. Plus a personal trainer? Some supplements.. etc.
It just adds up.
Plus I just want to see instant results which will never happen.. ever. So I keep getting disappointed. :(
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(5 stars | shed some light)
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| Self Esteem |
[19 Apr 2003|09:00pm] |
How can some people be so insecure about themselves? I think that everyone should just not care what people think about you. Who cares if some stuck up person doesn’t think you’re good enough. There are people out there that like you for who you are. Now if nobody in the world likes you, you might have some issues. I don’t think that is the case ever. Come on people have a little self esteem. You have to like yourself before others like you.
How will you expect someone to see something in you, that even you don’t see in yourself?
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(3 stars | shed some light)
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| It's been awhile |
[03 Dec 2002|01:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Matchbox 20 - Last Beautiful Girl |
] |
I haven't posted here in awhile. I haven't taken a break from livejournal, its just that I have another journal. So I am trying to decide what to do?
I am pretty sure I want to keep this journal still, but I am curious if anyone still reads it? Is anyone interested in being added to the other journal?
Things have been really busy in my life, but everything is slowing down...
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(4 stars | shed some light)
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| Evaluation |
[15 Sep 2002|02:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Shake the Sugar Tree - Pam Tillis |
] |
I have
- A roommate who wont clean worth a damn
- Someone I'm not sure if I am dating or not
- Too much homework
I wish I would know for sure what is going on in my life. I am so depressed. I think I ate the entire contents of my fridge today. When I'm done, no one will want to date me cause I'll be the size of the goodyear blimp.
I am sick of getting screwed over by guys.
I am sick of feeling so left out and alone.
I need some new friends up in the Sacramento area. All mine are either busy, live in other towns or have their own lives/kids/husbands.. take your pick.
Then with the whole dating scene, my gosh. Just tell me okay. Tell me that you don't like me and I'll go away. How hard is that? I just dont want to be led on. I hate games. I don't play games. I either like someone or I don't. If I do, I show my interest. None of that play hard to get bullshit. Straightforward, You don't like it.. kiss my butt. :)
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(3 stars | shed some light)
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|
[26 Jun 2002|09:36pm] |
If you are trying to get a hold of me regarding LJ Review, please email me at
starrslite98@yahoo.com.
Don't leave comments in this journal.
Thank you
|
(shed some light)
|
| The countdown has begun.... |
[12 Feb 2002|12:36am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Everytime I close My Eyes - Babyface |
] |
i cant believe about all the thefts. This sucks. We have to lock our doors all the time. We are supposed to be safe. I don't feel safe.
I want to feel safe.
I guess now I am feeling very vulnerable ....
I dont know what to do about all the stress and especially someones departure coming up in a few weeks. If it doesn't kill me to see him go, It's gonna at least drain the hell out of me. I don't need that right now. I don't want him to go. I'm not sure I can handle it. Maybe I don't want to handle it.
I just like his arms around me.
Why is he leaving?
Why is it that everyone around me ends up leaving at one point or another?
I cant stand this.
He is one of my bestest friends in the world. I love him for so many reasons. Not just because of what has been happening in the last months, but for everything in the years that I have known him. The hugs, the kisses, the advice, the support..... everything. He means the world to me.
Oh gosh .... I'm crying already....
*sad*
Don't want beloved friend to move away....
too far away to touch.
|
(14 stars | shed some light)
|
|
[10 Feb 2002|08:48am] |
i feel stupid - but i know it won't last for long
i've been guessing - i coulda been guessin' wrong
you don't know me now
i kinda thought that you should somehow
does that whole mad season got ya down
i feel stupid but it's something that comes and goes
i've been changin' - think it's funny how no one knows
we don't talk about - the little things that we do without
when that whole mad season comes around
so why ya gotta stand there
looking like the answer now
it seems to me - you'd come around
i need you now
do you think you can cope
you figured me out - i'm lost and i'm hopeless
bleeding and broken - though i've never spoken
i come undone - in this mad season
i feel stupid - but i think i been catchin' on
i feel ugly - but i know i still turn you on
you seem colder now, torn apart, angry, turned around
will that whole mad season knock you down
so are you gonna stand there
are you gonna help me out
you need to be together now - i need you now
now i'm cryin' - isn't that what you want
i'm tryin' to live my life on my own
but i won't
at times - i do believe i am strong
so someone tell me why, why, why
do i feel stupid
and i came undone
|
(1 star | shed some light)
|
| School Days |
[07 Feb 2002|11:43am] |
Well Im back at school. I'm actually doing rather well. Same room, better roommate. Old roommate got a new room... far from me!!!!!! Yea!!!! I am not sure how I am supposed to feel about my bf still being here. I am happy, of course. I was thinking he would be gone when I got back here. That I wouldn't have to deal with him leaving... I thought I already had. He's paying more attention to me now that I'm back. We talked a few times, visited once or twice while I was away... Now he calls. Comes over more. Not as much as I'd like of course. But at least hes there. I don't know what to think about getting close to him again and then him leaving in 20 days... to go to Georgia. I thought we had said our goodbye... augh
I am so glad about my new roommate. I was so paranoid about getting someone that was like my last one.... or worse. Although everyone was like you can't get any worse than Sarah. I was hoping I wouldn't.
I am so ready to move on in my life, and over the past events. I need to do things for me. Not for others. I am glad this year is going so well so far... so good. :)
|
(3 stars | shed some light)
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| It's a New Year |
[20 Jan 2002|07:45am] |
Well I know I'm kind of late on this but I thought I'd make some new years resolutions..
I am not going to miss any classes this year - unless I have valid reasons -
like sickness.
I am going to be more organized
I will get up when my alarm sounds - not hit the snooze buttong 20 million times
I will be better with my money
I will be better about keeping in touch with my friends, including actually replting
to their letters in a reasonable amount of time..
I will not run my poor little car into the ground
I will not hand my heart out to just anyone, so that I will not get hurt.
I will not think that I need a boyfriend
I will put school first
I will make a better attempt to get along with my mom
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(shed some light)
|
| Ughhh |
[25 Dec 2001|09:19pm] |
|
Okay dilemma...
The day before Christmas Eve, my friend begged me to go with her to meet a guy. She has been talking to him over the Internet and wanted me to go with her, just in case. Well We went to meet him, and he was really nice. Cute and a great personality. ((kind of cheap, it seemed like we were paying for everything... well not everything, but it wasn't a fair deal))...
Okay anyways, she wasn't feeling well, and rather than call it off, she went anyways. She didn't talk much, and so it was mostly me talking to him. We went to get pizza and bowling. I was kind of getting the feeling he was flirting with me, but It wasn't really obvious, so I didn't think anything about it. Well after we walked outside to leave my friends place, She went to say goodbye to him, and then I came back to talk to her and she was all excited cause he kissed her. Well I stopped to get gas before I went on the drive back to home, he pulled in next to me.
Since I'm home for the winter, he lives about 15 minutes from my house. So he wanted to get my number to hang out. I was thinking it would be harmless, that maybe we'd hang out as friends. Well he called today and left a message, that he liked me, and if he hadn't seen me stop, he would have just asked my friend for my number.... so what should I do. He wants to tell her that he like me, and hes not interested in her, but I don't really want to ruin our friendship, and I would like to hang out with him platonically, but I'm just not that dying to see him romantically... I haven't been able to get a hold of him..... Ugh,.... I hope he hasn't given my friend the wrong impression.
What should I do?
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(4 stars | shed some light)
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| If... |
[21 Dec 2001|12:38am] |
If you want to be with me.....
I won't
be there for you whenever you want, if you aren't for me
look the other way if you do me wrong
let you walk all over me
be a prize for you to hold
be used
let you hit me... ever
let you take advantage of me
be your secret
be your chauffeur
clean up after your messes
be perfect
cry over you if you break my heart ... okay so maybe I will
I will
give you my heart, completely and honestly
love you for who you are.. just the way you are, and who you want to be
give you my opinions if you want them or not
be everything to you.. if you treat me like I should be treated.
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(1 star | shed some light)
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| All I want..... |
[17 Dec 2001|10:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Straight Tequila Night - John Anderson |
] |
All I want is someone to tell me that they "like me just the way I am"... with all of my faults.. all of my good points. Nothing matters. They like me for who I am, and who I want to be. For that... I would give the world. Just to have someone like me as much as I like them for once. To feel loved... I haven't felt truly loved by anyone in a long time. I am soo sick of games. So sick of being left out, while everyone around me finds someone to love. My brother, my sister. Why can't I... am I not loveable? Why can't I just be able to find someone... who WANTS to be there for me, who loves me, who clicks with me... I need that... I don't think with anyone, have I ever had that... an equal love affair.
I hate introducing my friends to guys I like, because they always go for my friends. I guess I'm not pretty enough, or smart enough, or maybe I'm not thin enough.
It seems I always get into these self destructing relationships where I like the guy much much more than they like me. Or they are leaving, or the cheat on me, or hit me, or some other undesirable quality that you don't want in a boyfriend.
I guess I just want to feel loved....... and I don't.
not at all... not one bit....
and that makes me *sad*
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(3 stars | shed some light)
|
|
[12 Dec 2001|11:31pm] |
Only a few more days here. ((and with my roommate... *jumps for joy*))
Then I get to go home for 6 weeks... yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm in the middle of finals. I am sooo tired and stressed. The lack of sleep. The sodas... the trying to get ready to leave. Yet having no time. I'm still working some... as little as possible. I feel bad leaving them with nothing. Christina can't work cause she ran out her money for the semester. If I'm not stressed enough over grades, I had to work around christina's schedule. So instead of just registering for what was convient for me, I had to register so I could work certain days. I tried for weeks before to get a hold of Christina, she left before I got there, never returned my calls, etc. Until after she had registered... UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So we never got to talk about it. Next semester I need to take some classes only offered on Thursdays so she's gonna be stuck.
Anyways. I am so excited to be seeing my friends from home, but I'll miss my new friends here. You just can't win. By leaving here I won't be able to see the guy I am supposedly seeing for awhile, It's going to be a pain to commute, not like I haven't done it before. He's leaving in january... before I come back... augh... time to break it off gently.. I don't want to be sad when school starts. All my friends are leaving. All off to boot camp, over seas. Wherever they are going...
Need to study........
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(1 star | shed some light)
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| Wow... |
[12 Dec 2001|11:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Hands - Jewel |
] |
I found this journal. The bio alone is enough for me to want to list it hope you check it out...
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) flashman
Flash was a 20 year-old junior at New York University. He died tragically while helping people at the WTC when they fell on him, killing him. This was his journal.
I am his best friend, and I'm keeping his journal open as a memorial to the wonderful person he was.
|
(1 star | shed some light)
|
| AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH |
[12 Dec 2001|02:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
stressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Cheating - Jettingham |
] |
AUGHHHHHHHHHHH
stress....
finals...
augh.....
home in a few more days. my own bed.. my friends... no more roommate.. no more hearing her sing.. no more.. no more...
*sighs of relief*
1 final down 4 to go........
AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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(shed some light)
|
| 10 Things |
[09 Dec 2001|02:43pm] |
10 Things I will not miss over winter vacation
10. Having to wear shoes to the shower
9. Waiting in line to take a shower
8. 9 + the number + access code
7. classes
6. Homework
5. Books
4. Tests
3. Dorm room food (ramen, sodas, popcorn)
2. DC food!!!
1. My roommate :)
|
(shed some light)
|
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